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benefits of growing older

As the New Year reminds us of our gradually advancing age, let’s just consider the not inconsiderable, brighter side (with gratitude to Anthony):

  • In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first
  • It’s harder and harder for harassment charges to stick
  • Kidnappers are not very interested in you
  • No one expects you to run into a burning building
  • People call at 9 pm and ask, ‘Did I wake you?’
  • People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
  • There’s nothing left to learn the hard way
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out
  • You buy a compass for the dashboard of your car
  • You can eat dinner at 4 pm
  • You can’t remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch tv
  • You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations
  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans
  • You got cable for the weather channel
  • You have a party and the neighbours don’t even realise it
  • You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
  • You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks in the room
  • You talk about ‘good grass’ and you’re referring to someone’s lawn
  • Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper
  • Your back goes out more than you do
  • Your eyes won’t get much worse
  • Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
  • Your joints are more accurate than the Met Office
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either
  • Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size
  • You enjoy lists like this

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    Many of the paintings used on this site are taken from the work of Mark Rothko, born Marcus Rothkowitz in Russia in 1903 to a Lithuanian Jewish father and a Prussian Jewish mother. He worked with colour relationships to imbue his paintings with the tragedy of the human condition. He wrote, 'The most important tool the artist fashions through constant practice is faith in his ability to produce miracles when they are needed. [For the artist, the picture must be] as for anyone experiencing it later, a revelation, an unexpected and unprecedented resolution of an entirely familiar need.'